Blessing

I remember getting a priesthood blessing a few years ago that talked about finding a new way of sharing my feelings and it would be from a media outlet...I don't remember the exact words without looking back at my notes but after that I started this blog. I can honestly say that it has helped and made that blessing come true. So today I am going to use it again because it brings me peace when I am able to leave it here instead of all in me.

I haven't heard from Jared. And more than anything I just don't want to care. I need to have more men in the line-up so I don't mind so much about him not calling or anything. I know he is out dating other girls. I just want to be dating a few other guys to help me not be so caught up in just one until it is at that point. I guess I am not completely caught up in Jared, but I do wish he would call and ask me out this weekend. It's Thursday so it isn't looking good. But I can still have a fun weekend without him. I will work on not being weird for put up the lovely sign on my forehead when I see him Sunday. I am doing my best to just think of him as a friend. His lack of communication is not super attractive to me because good communication is so important to me and in someone I want to be with. But I will say that it is always a little shaky at first when you get to know someone but then it either improves or they just don't communicate. Only time will tell. But I am excited that I get to see Mike tonight and hopefully that will take focus away from Jared. Then Monday I am going to send Brad dunford donuts for his birthday. Nothing too exciting but nice to send and even nicer to keep my mind in a few places. So, here's to going at a good pace, not being too upset if I don't hear at all from Jared, and keeping my mind a few places. I want to be able to see all of the good that can and will come from this weekend.

Also, one tender thing that made my day better yesterday was something small but sweet. I didn't show up at all to the gym on Tuesday. I wasn't sure if Matty would notice. But he did. He sent me a text (yet another I didn't get that day) asking how I was. He was worried because I always show up. He also knew there was a chance that Ian would be at my lunch that day. It wasn't huge but it was so nice to feel cared for. I'm grateful to Matty for that.