Thursday, January 10, 2013
Go Back There
Today as I was searching for something I sent to a good friend of mine, I came across emails of my hardest moments last summer. I read as one of my friends and my sister suggested going to see a counselor. I remember those feelings and the one thing that I couldn't help think was that I never want to go back to that moment or ever feel as low as I did. But isn't it inevitable that I will? I think it is. I think there will come another time in my life that is even more difficult than that. I am just hoping that before that times, I will feel greater happiness than I have ever felt to help even it out. That pain was worse than anything. But I think I need to prove myself to Heavenly Father. I have to show Him that I won't get mad at Him, that I will trust Him instead of be upset with Him and lose trust in Him. That is one reason that I feel like I will have to go through something just as hard. I have to show Him that I am His and that I am not leaving. That is going to be hard but I want to do it. I never want to not choose Heavenly Father or His path. He knows more than I do, He sees further than I can see. I am working on trusting Him now. I want it to be solid. I have gone through trials with His influence in my life and I have gone through trials without His influence and I can testify that there is more peace when it is with Him. I pray to never forget that.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Healthy Relationships
I found this article on KSL yesterday and really liked it.
http://www.ksl.com/?sid=23618317&nid=1010&title=6-steps-to-building-better-relationships&s_cid=queue-2
It is that time again where the healing process has taken me back a couple of steps. I really don't enjoy this part at all because I am so focused on moving forward, but lo and behold, I don't have control over everything. So I am chalking it up to healing and hormones.
One thing about this article that I really loved was the first thing that was posted. It says, "If you don't value yourself accurately, you will be in fear about your value all the time. When you are in fear about your value, you are focused on you (you are basically more selfish), and you are not capable of being loving. Healthy relationships can only happen when both parties accurately see their own value. When you are not insecure and needy, you can focus on loving each other instead." Wow, spot on. This last week or two I have really felt that giant big black hole inside of me and I am feeling like I need a man, instead of just wanting to be with one. But after reading this, I am not as healed in the self-worth department as I would like to be. Anyone can say anything about me, but all that I need to know matters is what Heavenly Father and I feel about me. I am such a problem solver that I want to fix this now. I want to feel good about me and love me...right now so I can get on to the next item of healing on my list that I can then be ready to meet a man who is healthy and get married. See how my mind works? So this article was good for me to take a step back and see that I need to focus on loving me and feeling my worth and not let that rest on the backs of men in my life who are or are not interested in being with me. I really wish I had a guide to show me how to do that. I don't. But I am going to keep trying to find out how so that I can be healthier and love me. I should. I want to. I hope to. I will. Hopefully soon.
But serving is one way that I know I will improve my worth. I want to. I have felt selfish lately and I want to change that. I am praying to recognize opportunities to serve. I know that will help.
The article is great and very true as far as my therapy has taught me. :)
http://www.ksl.com/?sid=23618317&nid=1010&title=6-steps-to-building-better-relationships&s_cid=queue-2
It is that time again where the healing process has taken me back a couple of steps. I really don't enjoy this part at all because I am so focused on moving forward, but lo and behold, I don't have control over everything. So I am chalking it up to healing and hormones.
One thing about this article that I really loved was the first thing that was posted. It says, "If you don't value yourself accurately, you will be in fear about your value all the time. When you are in fear about your value, you are focused on you (you are basically more selfish), and you are not capable of being loving. Healthy relationships can only happen when both parties accurately see their own value. When you are not insecure and needy, you can focus on loving each other instead." Wow, spot on. This last week or two I have really felt that giant big black hole inside of me and I am feeling like I need a man, instead of just wanting to be with one. But after reading this, I am not as healed in the self-worth department as I would like to be. Anyone can say anything about me, but all that I need to know matters is what Heavenly Father and I feel about me. I am such a problem solver that I want to fix this now. I want to feel good about me and love me...right now so I can get on to the next item of healing on my list that I can then be ready to meet a man who is healthy and get married. See how my mind works? So this article was good for me to take a step back and see that I need to focus on loving me and feeling my worth and not let that rest on the backs of men in my life who are or are not interested in being with me. I really wish I had a guide to show me how to do that. I don't. But I am going to keep trying to find out how so that I can be healthier and love me. I should. I want to. I hope to. I will. Hopefully soon.
But serving is one way that I know I will improve my worth. I want to. I have felt selfish lately and I want to change that. I am praying to recognize opportunities to serve. I know that will help.
The article is great and very true as far as my therapy has taught me. :)
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