Always interesting

I have to say that I am grateful for my life. I am even more grateful when I actually feel grateful in my heart. It is one of the most peaceful feelings. I pray every morning to be able to recognize my blessings because I sincerely know that they are in abundance. I still have hard things that arise from day to day but if I am able to stay focused on what I have, I am definitely in better spirits. So today I will write a couple of things I am grateful for.

On Wednesday right after I updated my blog post, I got a text from Jared asking me to lunch?? Seriously. I about dropped the phone I was so shocked. But I went and didn't bring up the awkwardness that had been happening and just was myself and enjoyed myself so much. Kristen saw one of his texts before we went and she got a huge grin on her face and I told her to stop that right away because he was not off the hook yet! :) We just went over and waited for 50 minutes for our lunch and he had a big presentation and so we ended up getting our food to go and almost running back. While we were waiting, I really enjoyed him. He definitely has some walls up and he seems to be very careful about what he does. He put his arm on the back of my chair and my face went BRIGHT red and I tried to continue my story. Bless my heart. He ended up moving it a few minutes later. But I really had a great time. This time after I just tried to remember that he is not like other guys and so I can't assume the basics. So I am working on just going with it each day and seeing what comes. I can't control any of it even though I still find myself at moments trying to. It could end before it begins, it could be the most amazing relationship I have ever been in, it could be the most painful breakup I have ever experienced or we could end up getting married. There are at least a dozen other possibilities. So why not wait and see which it is? Smart, right? Well, it's not as easy as it sounds but I am working on it. But I am grateful for this experience. It will teach me something and I think it is already. But it is still a blessing.

Last night I decided I was going to say hi to Mike at institute. He has the most gorgeous smile I have ever seen or at least, in person. It just melts me. So after weeks of catching each others' eyes and those fun things, I was going to say actual words to him in person! I did!! And really, it was all about timing. I had to leave at 7:30 to get to my game and he was late and walking in as I was leaving. It was perfect because neither of us were with a group. I told him that I had been meaning to tell him that he had a great smile that it was ward and his eyes lit up. He said he was blushing and I was too nice. Then I started heading out and he asked me where I was going. I told him softball and he got all excited and said he had just come from there. He never got my name...:) But this morning I had an email from him on Facebook thanking me for the compliment and a couple of other things. Yay! I wrote him back. I haven't heard anything but it will open the door for us to talk in person. I am grateful for this and for the timing for it all coming together. Who knows if I will ever get to kiss his beautiful mouth(sorry a little graphic?) or not, but today it is good.

I am grateful for both of these things. While there are things about both situations that make me feel uneasy because it is gray, I am okay. I just want to enjoy the good when it comes and deal with the hard when that comes and not fret before. Here's to doing that today.