Karma is real in case you didn't know that. All that I did to Paige and Katie on placing my problems ON them instead of just venting to them has come back to me through a different, very good friend. He is having a hard time and expecting me to fix his problems while listening to every detail. This is overwhelming. I feel sick when I see his call or text. It is too much and it isn't healthy. I tried to tell him this on Sunday but it didn't get through. I love this man and I want to be there for him but I simply can't do it the way he wants me to. I am all about being there for my friends, those who I care about most, but 10-20 texts a day with a couple of calls and if I am able to talk, at least an hour a call. It isn't healthy for me. But I am trying to be the best I can and just put my boundaries up when I can't do it anymore. I feel horrible for saying it, thinking it and feeling it.
This last year has been a giant growth year and I am grateful for what I have learned. I am doing well right now and I couldn't be more grateful for that. I know hard times will come in the future. I know that I can't control outcomes or really anything but how I react to things. I know that every day I want to continue to strive to really want God's will for me regardless if it is what I want at the time or not. I want to fall in love. I want to have a healthy relationship. I want to get married to a worthy man. I want to have children. I want to raise them to the very best of my ability. I feel like I can do all of this now, healthily. What a blessing.
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