Expectations

Expectations are the root of all evil. :) Think about it though, if you are subconsciously expecting something to happen, then it doesn't, you feel let down. It doesn't mean that it was going to happen anyway or that the other person had any idea of our hopes for it, it was OUR OWN expectation. It isn't fair to other people either. I have been thinking a lot about that this past week.

On Saturday I will see an old friend from my mission. On my mission I had a crush on him. He is shorter than me and that always seems to overrule any feelings. Well, he and I are going to a wedding together on Saturday and it has been something that I have been looking forward to, and building up expectations, since April. Ridiculous? Yes. In my logical brain do I really think anything will happen on the ONE night I will see him in NINE years? Honestly, not really. I have hoped for it though. This has been something that I have looked forward to with an excited question mark every time I go on a bad date, when Craig freaked out, or when I am feeling lonely. He is a very good guy with the right standards, right personality, attractive looks, and let's just say, he really fits the bill on everything besides his height. But right now the height thing doesn't bother me...granted I haven't been standing next to him. :) He is a hope that is(was) far in the future to hope for that there is a chance for me to find what I have been looking for but far enough away that I could find someone else or release my expectation before I see him. Well friends, it is 4 days away and I am ready to be let down. I should have started getting rid of my expectations last month! But lo and behold I am here and so I will spend the next 4 days trying to rid myself of those and just trust in Heavenly Father and HIS plan, even if it doesn't include anything great happening with us on Saturday night or in the future. Sucks, but trusting is the better and best option anyway. It helps me feel less pressure to make it go well. Ideally what I want to happen is for me to go in and be excited to see old friends and just enjoy them and the moment without any expectation of romance. So here's to trusting in powers far greater than mine.