Go Back There

Today as I was searching for something I sent to a good friend of mine, I came across emails of my hardest moments last summer. I read as one of my friends and my sister suggested going to see a counselor. I remember those feelings and the one thing that I couldn't help think was that I never want to go back to that moment or ever feel as low as I did. But isn't it inevitable that I will? I think it is. I think there will come another time in my life that is even more difficult than that. I am just hoping that before that times, I will feel greater happiness than I have ever felt to help even it out. That pain was worse than anything. But I think I need to prove myself to Heavenly Father. I have to show Him that I won't get mad at Him, that I will trust Him instead of be upset with Him and lose trust in Him. That is one reason that I feel like I will have to go through something just as hard. I have to show Him that I am His and that I am not leaving. That is going to be hard but I want to do it. I never want to not choose Heavenly Father or His path. He knows more than I do, He sees further than I can see. I am working on trusting Him now. I want it to be solid. I have gone through trials with His influence in my life and I have gone through trials without His influence and I can testify that there is more peace when it is with Him. I pray to never forget that.