Today in church we had Fast and Testimony meeting. It is a meeting where anyone can get up and bear their own testimony of Christ, His Church, modern-day prophets, anything church related really...and sometimes people bear their testimonies about things that don't relate at all. Those are worth listening to because they are usually pretty funny. Yes, I am horrible sometimes. But today a wonderful girl in my ward got up and said something that stuck out to me.
She said that we all are looking for happiness and why was she so happy. We all go around saying, "I will be happy when I get this job" or "I will be happy when I buy this house" or things like that. But then she said something I loved. She said, "For me, happiness is when I apply the Atonement of Jesus Christ." Brilliant. Because isn't that the truth? The Atonement covers everything. It encompasses hope, joy, peace, humility, meekness, love, patience, goodness and kindness. Those are just a few. To me I summed it up in my head to mean that happiness is the ride of life instead of just merely the destination. Loving my family and close friends really does bring me happiness. Having hope given by the Atonement that I will marry a wonderful man one day and have children brings me pure happiness. When I am actually patient enough to wait for something completely worth it and then I get it because I waited brings me happiness. Being kind to someone who is hurting or feels ashamed brings me happiness to help them. Of course the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the answer to happiness. How did I not see that before?
I have thought about happiness SO MUCH in the last year. I feel so ungrateful for not being happier. I have a great life right now. Why am I not happier? When she made her comment about happiness, I realized that I am happy right now.
A man at work always tells me that I have a smile on my face every time he sees me and that I always reply that I am good. It's mostly true. One of my blessings and curses is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am real with my feelings whatever they may be. That is why when my heart is hurting, I don't feel like I am happy.
I am blessed with amazing things that do bring my heart happiness every single day. But where I feel bad about that is I want more, so much more. I know what it feels like to be loved deeply. I want that from a husband. I know that marriage comes with a lot of troubles and that it is anything but easy. However, I know that I will be happier then than I have ever been in my life. I know this. So it isn't that I am not happy now, because I really am, it is just that I will be disgustingly happy when I am sealed to the man of my dreams and when I have babies. There will be problems, but I will love deeper then than I have ever loved before and because of that I will feel more joy than ever before. Now I also know that means that I will feel deeper sorrow. It is how life goes. But through each of these experiences, I will learn and grow.
I feel that I am learning and growing a lot right now into the person the Lord wants me to be. There are so many times that I wish my heart cared less for people because than it wouldn't hurt as much. I don't know what I am learning from my heart hurting. But I believe even though I can't see it, there is still a reason.
True, lasting happiness is applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ and allowing it to have a place in your life and more importantly, in your heart.
I also appreciated this particular testimony. Isn't it interesting how people can get up and all say the same thing, but only one of them can get through to you? I feel that way sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I love it so much. Because of that, it makes me know that Heavenly Father knows me individually and knows what I need to hear. I loved this testimony.
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