Time heals and life really isn't that bad are both true statements. It completely sucks that Brad didn't choose to be with me and honestly, that will probably hurt my heart for a bit. And honestly, I may not have handled the last text as well as I would have hoped but I do believe that if things are supposed to work out with us in the future, they will regardless. I need to move on, and I am.
First statement: time heals. It just does. I believe that with the Atonement and time, we will heal from all things. But we can't rush it. We can't make the healing go faster. In order to fully heal, you have to be able to let yourself feel what you're feeling in the moment. Between Sunday night and yesterday at 6pm, I cried more than a couple of times. But then I went to boot camp and talked with a friend there while working out and had a great night full of peace and joy. I watched Grey's Anatomy and it really helped ease any pain I had been feeling before boot camp. So while time heals, finding things that help you feel better in the moment help you heal too. Your entire day doesn't have to be sad and horrible, and if it is, you can find something to be grateful for.
On Sunday while waiting to take the sacrament, I was praying really hard that I would be able to accept Heavenly Father's will in this exact situation with Brad whatever happened. I could see either one happening. But I didn't expect what happened later that night. Because I prayed for His will, it still happened even though it wouldn't have been what I would have chosen. He sees what I do not. He knows what will be best for me and how to make that happen. It sucks but if this is His will, than I completely accept it. I have to. He has proven over and over again that His plan is more amazing than I can imagine. The only part I haven't experienced it yet is in the romantic relationship department. I really hope that part is going to come together soon.
Last statement: life really isn't that bad. Yes, this sucks. But as I said earlier, boot camp and Grey's brought my heart a release and life didn't feel all that horrible. It also helps to see how very blessed I am. I have amazing and loving people in my life who pray for me. I know their prayers helped me and continue to. The thing that helps make this statement true is for me to focus on all of the good that is still in my life. The dating part sucks, letting go of a dream/hope that I have had for one man for 10 years sucks, feeling like I am never going to meet a man who I feel is worthy of me and loves me who I want to be with and same for the guy at the same time AND having the timing work out sucks too, but hope continues to be there. I know that today I will probably have a hard time and my heart will heart for a bit, but right now and all morning, I've been fine. I'm grateful for that.
No comments:
Post a Comment